just some thoughts.

it was cold today... and i spent the entire day cleaning our house.  i mean all day.  laundry is done and closets are organized.  our two spare rooms have HUGE closets.  i was in the guest room (which will one day be turned into a nursery) and it kind of hit me that someday there could be a baby in that room.  i'm kind of putting off decorating it... so it's still the same color as when we bought it and it just has the basics.  sometimes i get so excited at the thought of having a little baby hanging around.  this house almost seems too big for the three of us (millie included in that).  then, sometimes the idea almost scares me.  what if we can't afford a baby?  what if we don't know what we're doing?  i'm still learning so much about being a wife and michael is sitting in front of the tv playing a video game (he just got the new call of duty so i get to listen to things blowing up).  are we grown up enough for a baby?  i guess these are pretty normal feelings, right?  i'm not going to lie...at "that time of month" i feel relieved and disappointed at the same time.  i know God has a wonderful plan for us... whether it's getting pregnant soon, waiting a year or two, or not allowing us to get pregnant... in which case we would gladly adopt.  moms/pregnant ladies how did you know it was the right time for you to have a baby?  did it happen by surprise?


  1. You have done lots of cleaning lately. You need to come do some for me :)
    I think I had the idea that only grown up people have babies, but really, regular people have babies. (I am not excusing people who have kids but don't take care of them or neglect them). It's a story I want to tell you in detail but it is late and I am tired... we need to talk about it soon via email or something. Or maybe I will check back tomorrow. Sorry, this comment is lame.

  2. I don't have any advice about the baby thing, but I've heard that when people finally ARE ready and they're trying it doesn't happen...then when they relax and let it go and just live, it happens. Other times, it's a surprise. Like...ooops. heh.

    On another note, today was SO gloomy, but I was one of the few who hardly noticed! Busy, busy. Organizing my clothes, doing laundry, ironing, making lunch for 8 people... :)

  3. oh. i'm not pregnant and i don't have advice on this. but i have these feelings all the time about marriage and things like that. like wow, i'm excited about harry potter and JJ is playing video games and laughing at family guy? i try to accept these as natural thoughts to have. because otherwise that means i'm a weirdo.

    i read a quote somewhere about how being a wife and mother should be studied as much as any other career in your life and it has really stuck with me. random thought, but i think about it every day!

    i think all of your feelings are very normal :)

  4. Right before we found out we were pregnant, I gave Kyle this insanely lengthy speech about how there was no way in the world we were ready for a baby or anywhere near ready. Two weeks later there was that little positive sign & everything changed. After that moment, and I couldn't imagine a second not loving this baby. It was seriously the greatest surprise & the more we thought about it, the more we realized what great timing God had (completely different than our own). He provides & never gives you more than you can handle, so that's where we found our peace in this surprise.
    You're feelings are so normal! The fact that you care about such things now says something about your character & how caring of a mother you will be!

  5. thanks ladies for all the kind words!

    @paige: you're so funny!